I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
