im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize