I heard we made out
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Drunk is a universal language darling
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