Little spoons don't ask big questions
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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