we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
