Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize