Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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