used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
