with your own penis?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
