I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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