Im at strip club and am horny
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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