I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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