tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
