dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
do nipples grow back?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
