Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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