So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
