i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
