I wish my penis had an off switch
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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