did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
