I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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