I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
PANTIES FOUND
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