She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
