Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
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First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
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Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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