the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
