Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
