he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
