Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
