If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
