Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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