hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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