Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
