Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
