It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
