What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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