I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
