You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
