That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
