strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
