I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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