He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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