I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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