the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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