Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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