1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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