tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
