Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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