physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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