ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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