Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
