WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
