So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Randomize
