do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
