worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
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