The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
